Senior pastor of First Congregational United Church of Christ. Ordained in May, 1983. Called to First Congregational UCC in August, 1994. Retired July 1, 2018.
Month most maligned
Caught between seasons
Neither winter nor spring
Lacking the best of either
Displaying the worst of both
Or perhaps that is its glory
Being not one thing or the other
But itself, juncture of memory and promise
Consecrating cherished experience
Anticipating unfolding beauties
Being seventy is like March
Caught between seasons
Neither young nor old
Expecting to do what body refuses
Resisting the repose from which mind recoils
Or perhaps that is its glory
Being not one thing or the other
But itself, juncture of memory and promise
Consecrating cherished experience
Anticipating unfolding beauties
When the ball left the right foot of Karen Irasema Luna de los Santos, little did she know. Little did any of us know.
She had collected the ball deep in her own end, her El Tri teammates having dispossessed the American attack. She took a few quick touches and then launched an improbable pass far upfield and across the pitch to the feet of Mayra Pelayo-Bernal streaking up the left wing.
It was unthinkable. It was uncanny. It was brilliant. With her thirty-fifth-ranked side clinging to a precarious one goal lead early in extra time against the second-ranked and perennial superpower United States Women’s National Team, she would be expected simply to clear the ball, to be content with getting it out of her own end, getting it out of trouble, giving her teammates a moment’s pause to collect themselves and regroup.
But she did not merely clear the ball. She sent the soaring, implausible, astonishing pass across the field to Pelayo. She left the match commentators scrambling for words. Did she or didn’t she? Did she mean to make that pass or was it just a case of a rushed clearance that happened to find a teammate?
Her entire game up to that point had been brilliant — marking and denying, finding space, applying pressure. There can be no reason to believe that remarkable pass was anything but what she intended. But little did she know. Little did any of us know what Pelayo would do next.
Tracked down the bouncing ball. Five deft touches with the right foot running at her defender. Two quick stepovers, a slight tap of the ball to create space and then …
When the ball left the right foot of Mayra Alejandra Pelayo-Bernal she knew. We all knew. It was beautiful. It was audacious. It was glorious. It held in its flight all the effort and emotion her El Tri sisters had poured out of themselves for ninety-plus minutes, all the pent up hopes of a Mexican side denied by their neighbor to the north in sixteen straight matches, all the exquisite joy of a moment in time never to be forgotten.
The ball left the right foot of Mayra Alejandra Pelayo-Bernal and flew hard and straight and true, leaving the leaping goalkeeper no chance, landing in the upper right corner of the back of the net, and, in that instant, birthing a legend.
The name is Stool, Toad Stool, but you can call me Toad. My tale is one of mortal danger, of dire straits and terrifying peril, so if you have any little ones with you, you may want to send them outside to play.
It began on a dreich September morning, but you must know a dreich September morning in Glenbrittle is nothing unusual. The orb of the rusty sun rising over Sgùrr nan Gillean was streaked with clouds, jagged swaths of gunmetal grey, the dull and gloomy light barely illumining the grey-shouldered banks of the Allt Coir’ a’ Mhadaidh. Grey stone, grey mud, grey soil, grey clouds — much of my world is grey — but that’s why I matter, my ruby red cap unrivaled in this landscape, even standing out among the viridescent green of fern, the azure blue of harebell, the cotton candy pink of bell heather. I am a rare treasure in this glen. You must look very hard to find me, hidden as I am in a narrow crevice cleaving the face of the grey granite lip overhanging one of the coruscating emerald plunge pools they call the Fairy Pools. From the restricted vantage of my little crack, I have never glimpsed one of those elusive sprites myself, but I do not doubt that I have myself been mistaken sometimes for a fairy.
The air on that September morning hung heavy and brooding, still but unquiet, foreboding some unwelcome turn. The cascade at the head of my pool seemed to splosh, not splash, the sound of its crashing waters muffled by the leaden sky. And then, in a moment, it blew a hoolie. A furious wind surged down the glen, whipping the surface of the stream into a frenzy. The jagged clouds of gunmetal grey blew out before the roiling advance of immense thunderheads bearing rain, not gentle, plopping rain, but driving, biting rain, pockmarking the surface of the pool and stinging my leathery skin. The erstwhile quiet sky roared and the stream below me boiled with sudden urgency.
I do not know how long it rained. It may have been hours, it may have been days. The rain came down in relentless torrents, obliterating awareness of anything but itself. We have a saying here that if you don’t like the weather, give it an hour, and I must say we have come by that adage honestly. Is it warm and sunny? Just wait. In an hour, you’ll need that parka. Is it stormy and wet? Just wait. In an hour, you’ll shed that raincoat.
But not that day. That day, the rain was never-ending. It saturated time and space. It submerged memory and desire. I struggled to remember what my world was like before, and I could not begin to conceive of any world after.
The unabating rain deluged the Black Cuillins, flooding the numerous burns and streams that rush down its flanks. Carving its twisting path through Glen Brittle, the Allt Coir’ a’ Mhadaidh is fed by a dozen such tributaries. Near my perch, the burn is less than two kilometers from its confluence with the River Brittle and here achieves its maximum volume. The rains came down and the stream rose up. Minute by minute it rose, the turgid pool below me reaching levels I had never seen before. Its turbid waters swirled and foamed, now inundating the gravel bars at the edges of the pool, now inexorably creeping up the rocky scarp into which my crevice is carved, now surging into the crack itself, now churning around the base of my stem, now sloshing about my gills, now overlapping the edges of my precious cap.
And then … I can’t tell you what happened then. I could see nothing. I could hear nothing. I could feel nothing. I became nothing. All my world was dark. All my world was void. All my world was gone.
Until it wasn’t. I share my crevice home with some orange hawkweed, some marsh marigolds, and a generous sprinkling of meadow-grass. It was the meadow-grass that saved us. It was the meadow-grass that saved me. Its sprawling system of creeping rhizomes clung to the rock and anchored the soil into which my own mycelium were rooted. We emerged, the hawkweed and marigolds and me, well-watered, but in place, watching the once more familiar and no longer threatening waters of the Allt Coir’ a Mhadaidh recede.
I will never forget that day when, for a time, my fairy pool became an ogre’s torrent, and I cherish each day, dreich or sweltering, that I sit here in my cleft on the face of the grey granite lip overlooking the shimmering turquoise pool below me. I still have not seen a fairy, though I sometimes wonder, if fairies do indeed exist if they go about in the guise of meadow-grasses.
I have just published a chapbook of a selection of recent poems entitled, “Tuesday Mornings: poems of wonder, lament, and whimsy.” You may purchase a copy at the Lulu Bookstore.
Here is an excerpt from the preface …
I have chosen to group the poems under three headings: wonder, lament and whimsy. All my writing begins in wonder: wonder at this extraordinarily beautiful and inscrutable world of God’s making and the privilege of living within it, observing and appreciating and engaging; wonder at the human capacity for making beauty with color and shape and texture, with melody and harmony and counterpoint, with movement, and with words; wonder at the beauty of the human spirit at its best when we are able to reflect something of the wisdom and grace and compassion of the creator whose image we bear.
This world is beautiful, indeed, but troubled and besieged by brutality, compelling the poems of lament. Lament is an ancient and powerful form of prayer, a way of giving voice to distress, of refusing to ignore or excuse injustice. Lament is not despair, but its opposite, a declaration that evil should and can be overcome, and a hope-filled expectation that its own cries will be heard, by people and by God.
Whimsy is the corollary to wonder, finding exuberant delight in the beauty and power of language itself, playing with words to induce a knowing smile or a joyful laugh, uncovering serious meaning by not taking itself too seriously.
I do hope that you will enjoy reading these poems or speaking them aloud, which is how all poetry should be heard, and that the poems may inspire your own expressions of wonder and lament and whimsy.
it may be an amiable suggestion
try something new
expand your horizons
see the other side
it may be an urgent warning
run from danger
flee the peril
turn round before it is too late
it may be an insidious enticement
ditch your commitments
ignore your duties
put yourself first
it may be a gracious command
repent
turn away from foolishness and sin
find the path that leads to life
it may utter randomness
be here be there be anywhere
yield to the chaos
abide no rules no design no intent
it may be an invitation to dance
imbibe the rhythm
flow with your partner
exult in the delight of the movement
change direction
it is yours to choose
a path, a way, a way of being
not remaining stuck, not acceding to powerlessness
but dancing, dancing, dancing to the music of God
When every spruce and fir are painted white,
the wintry scene dispenses pure delight
and all the world seems surely put to right,
but it is not so.
Where glistening shards of ice append the spout,
my curious dog approaches with her snout
and wonder wants to displace the dread and doubt,
but it cannot be so.
While pensive writers conjure enchanting tales,
their words and thoughts are shaped to allay travails,
the looming specter of terror inexorably pales,
but it must not be so.
Of angels among us we’re prompted to recall,
At least for a moment the enveloping shadows forestall,
Lest hopelessness leave us bereft of faith at all,
but it will not be so.