I was a generation too late to be much exposed to the music of Frank Sinatra, but I have heard enough and seen enough to know that I don’t like it. Sinatra’s style and demeanor evoke an image that is antithetical to values I hold especially dear. He is about the big city; I love open spaces. He is about life in the fast lane; I crave a life filled with energy and passion and excitement — a fast life, but a life traveling down an entirely different road! He has the swagger; I admire a man — or a woman — who combines bold conviction with a gentle manner. He is about doing it “my way;” and I …

Well … okay … I’m about doing it “my way” too! Who isn’t? Who isn’t? Some of us do it by bullying; some of us do it by withdrawing; some of us do it by plotting; some of us do it by careful attention to detail; some of us do it by putting a price on our affections … but all of us try to fashion a world that works the way we want it to work. My vision of the “way things should” may be virtuous or it may be scandalous, but in any case, what is important to me is that it be my vision.

Jesus said, If you want to come with me, you must forget yourself …

What does it mean that in losing ourselves that we find ourselves? What does it mean that in taking up a cross, we find life? It is truly way out there, on the frontier of human experience, but maybe you have caught a glimpse, maybe you have had a taste … of what it is, even for a moment, to say … “your way.” Of how saying that and meaning it does not diminish you one little bit, but suddenly enlarges you in strange and wondrous ways.

And more than that, makes you realize it’s not about “you” at all, but about being an “us” … not about finding yourself, but about finding ourselves. About losing yourself, and finding ourself … in love.

Your way …

I never really liked Frank Sinatra. But he was a “you,” too.